I’d Miss It If You Were Dead


“I’m off,” my husband yells up the stairs. I wait a moment, knowing what will come next.

“Off like a prom dress,” he says proudly.

‘Oh-my gosh,’ I think, putting my hand over my face. ‘That hasn’t been funny for the past 10 years!’


“UGH!” I hear as I lie in bed. Uh-oh; I left my dresser drawers open again and Kevin has just walked into them in the dark bedroom.


Early in the morning as I take my first sip of coffee, I hear the dogs start to bark in the back yard and hear Kevin bang on the back door window to try to shut them up. They bark even louder. ‘Do we really have to go through this every single morning?’


Once again, Kevin trips over my shoes that I left in the middle of the side door entryway. I hear him sigh as he kicks them out of the way


These little annoyances could drive someone crazy. But they are also the things that we would miss. After the millionth time Kevin said the “Off like a prom dress” line I thought, ‘I would miss that if he were dead.’ Seriously, I can just imagine someone saying, “I’m off.” I would be waiting for the next line and so sad when it didn’t come.

It may sound kind of morbid but it’s become our way to lighten the moment and  insert some humor. When I do something that I know annoys Kevin, I smile and say, “You would miss it…!” It really is a good reminder not to waste our time on little frustrations.

And I’m sure if I were no longer around, Kevin would walk in the door each day after work without tripping and have a moment of sadness about that empty space. I’m not so sure he would miss the bruised shins from my open drawers though. I’ll work on that honey!


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