Time

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I feel my pregnant belly with it’s various bumps and lumps rolling lazily under my hand. Time is moving slowly as I wait to meet this little boy, my son. When he is born and his little naked body is laying on my chest, his big eyes meet mine for the first time and I feel like we are in this moment forever. Then he comes home with us and we have our first of many sleepless nights that each feel about 24 excruciating hours long.

***

My toddler and I complete a day’s worth of activities by 9am. These days are busy and packed and full of movement but time continues at a snail’s pace as our days are built around this little guy’s needs. Playground, snacks, potty, play-doh, dinosaurs, construction vehicle movies, kissing boo boos, more playground.

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Eventually he starts school and time speeds up just a little bit. All of a sudden he is away from me for hours each day. What is he doing? Who is kissing his boo boos? When I pick him up from Kindergarten one day he asks, “Mommy, how come you always have a smile on when you see me?”

***

Now, he’s taller than me and time is running like water through my fingers. When I clench my hands to hold it tight it flows even faster. So I keep my arms and heart open wide and when he sits next to me on the couch to share his day I feel the time heavy and solid and make sure to be fully present for this moment. When he hugs me after I return from a trip, I am there completely, stretching this minute out as long as I can.

***

Time is racing but it’s how it’s meant to be. So I will try my best to savor these moments, fully connected and thankful for each one.

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