I’m not really all that into timeout for kids. I’m totally into timeout for grown ups. One day my boys were tromping on my very last nerve. I decided to give myself a timeout in my room. I may have slammed the door a little bit. Or a lot. You know, just to make a point in a very grown-up, mature way. So I lay on my bed under the ceiling fan and took a few yoga breaths because I had heard somewhere that that’s a good way to calm down, relax and turn into super Zen mom.
I finally rose to open my door and re-join the fray, but it was stuck and stuck good! I called my little boys to come and push while I pullled. No luck. I thought about climbing out the window and down a nearby tree, but at that moment a thunderstorm struck, complete with drenching rain and lightning. The only thing feeling more frightning than the fact that my little boys were totally unsupervised in the house with me trapped in my room, was my little boys totally unsupervised with me electrocuted in a tree.
One of the boys yelled through the door to ask if he could have a snack. Oh-my gosh! I was so thankful that they did not yet realize the power they had at that moment. They still thought I was in charge! Phew! So I told him to get the phone and explained how to dial Daddy. I could hear his little voice…”Hi Daddy! Mommy is stuck. Come home. Bye.”
Come to find out, Daddy was in the middle of an important work meeting. I wonder how he explained having to run home. So as I said, I’m all for grown-up timeouts, but I recommend planning ahead. Either have an alternate escape route available, or lots of chocolate and reading material for your extended stay. After all, experts do recommend 1 minute of timeout for every year of your age.