1. Tangled Christmas lights
Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” I can handle rainy days and lost luggage with the best of ’em, but tangled lights just do me in. I turn into a drooling, tantruming toddler.
2. Quotes in the beginnings of books
Maybe I’m just not smart enough, but I never get the significance of these. I don’t feel like straining my brain to figure out how the quotes go with the story either. I suppose I could memorize these quotes by famous authors that I probably won’t read and then pull out at parties to impress people. Nah.
Here are some examples:
From Help Thanks Wow:
The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott
“Does sunset sometimes look like the sun is
Do you know what a faithful love is like?
You’re crying; you say you’ve burned yourself.
But can you think of anyone who’s not
hazy with smoke?”
From Mister Pip by Lloyd Jones
From Falling Boy by Alison McGhee
“…Icarus was not failing as he fell,
But just coming to the end of his triumph.”
— Jack Gilbert
3. The word “Curmudgeon”
It’s such an overused word. I just don’t like it. The only thing I didn’t love about Jeannette Walls’s new book was that she described one character as a curmudgeon. Ugh.
4. Cartoons these days
I probably sound like a CURMUDGEON when I say this, but have you seen what’s out there? “Adventure Time” and “The Regular Show”. What is going on people? Give me some good old fashioned Tom and Jerry and Scooby Doo (but NOT the ones with Scrappy Doo. Who’s crappy idea was he?).
5. When people mess up idioms
My mom does this quite frequently and actually we all enjoy it quite a bit. Maybe a little bit too much (sorry mom). A couple of examples are, “Whatever rocks your boat” and “Kill a bird with 2 stones.”
6. Morning people
It’s not that I mind morning people, I just mind morning people talking to me in the morning, and expecting me to respond with something other than a growl.
7. Overuse of similes
I really ended up liking the book The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman, but almost didn’t get past page 2 because of all the similes…
…with a fluke of their tails like needles through tapestry
…together they stretched like an edgeless carpet below the cliffs
…under-sea mountains that rose from the ocean floor like teeth along a jagged jaw bone
8. Not having enough half and half for my coffee
(See “drooling, tantruming toddler” and “morning people” above)
9. Pet Peeves
10. Only being able to think of 9 dang pet peeves, when 10 would be so much better