Why I Think My Teenage Sons Are Really Vampires

  1. They prefer to stay up all night and sleep all day
  2. Although we go through boxes of cereal and gallons of milk, I never actually see them eating
  3. Their rooms are always smelly and dark
  4. Daylight seems to bother them when we do make them join society once in awhile
  5. They prefer dark hoodies as their main fashion statement
  6. They are constantly closing the curtains, supposedly because the sun makes it hard to see the TV, computer etc.
  7. They hate the Twilight movies because of their unrealistic portrayal of vampires. Apparently real vampires do not sparkle.
  8. They are moodily short on small talk
  9. They avoid mirrors at all costs



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