Monthly Archives: September 2013

My Fantasy Apartment

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I spent the weekend with girlfriends at a Women’s Adventure Weekend Camp in the Adirondacks. We had a wonderful time sleeping in bunk beds, taking hikes, eating in the mess hall and sitting by the lake chatting. We have made this trip together for about 9 years and it’s always a nice time to catch up on each other’s lives and spend lots of time laughing. This year we all described our individual fantasy apartments. You know, the ones we design in our minds during an especially crazy day with grumpy kids, messy houses, burned dinner etc. It’s interesting to see what we all find the most comforting and relaxing. Here are some of our apartments.

The Sparse Apartment

All white with very little furniture. One book, one plate, one cup, one fork, one spoon and knife. Nothing at all that needs any care or nurturing. No plants or pets. A space for a yoga mat next to a little fountain. No clutter.

The Jungle Apartment

Full of plants and pets. No kitchen. Lots of books.

The Hobbit Hole Apartment

Full of bright colors and cozy furniture. A fireplace and lots of soft blankets. Stacks of books. Dogs to curl up with on the couch. A coffee pot.

What does your fantasy apartment look like?

Quinoa???

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I just read “Surviving Whole Foods” at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kelly-maclean/surviving-whole-foods_b_3895583.html by Kelly MacLean and it’s very funny. The author describes entering the sliding doors of Whole Foods and being smacked in the face by moist air smelling of strawberries and orchids. When I get up get up enough courage to enter a Whole Foods store, I just smell the stench of my own fear. And I know the hemp-clad people inside can smell me for exactly what I am, a poser. That’s right a granola, sprouts, and quinoa poser! And, knowing me, I have probably forgotten my reusable, eco-friendly bags.

The author continues on her shopping trip, noticing a wall of kombucha, which she describes as rotten tea, which seems to have offended some of her Whole Foods readers. I guess I can’t offend anyone, because I have never even heard of kombucha. How can I shop somewhere where I can’t identify about 85% of the items?

Someone should invent a Whole Foods for Dummies store. It would have descriptions and easy recipes for each item. And when I say easy recipes I mean EASY. As soon as I see the words rinse, soak, sort or germinate, I’m out. In the Whole Foods for Dummies, every item would be ranked for ease of use by lentil ratings. A brown lentil rating would mean the food is okay for all Whole Food virgins. A green lentil rating would signal the moderately experienced shopper. A red lentil rating…well, let’s face it, I’ll never need to worry about the red lentil level of Whole Foods.

Dear Crabby: Unappreciated

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Check me out as a guest writer in The Grimm Report!

The Grimm Report

Dear Crabby created by Trista Wilson and Christie Hall.
itsbeenaslicedotcom.wordpress.com


Dear Crabby,

I am living with a bunch of roommates, 7 to be exact, who don’t carry their weight. Everyday it’s all “Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, it’s off to work we go.” I’m the one stuck home cleaning, cooking, shopping and fending off creepy, fruit saleswomen. I can’t deal! I’m expected to shop for one roommate’s allergy medicine, keep dinner warm for one who is always falling asleep, and be all sweet and singsongy even when one’s super grumpy ALL THE TIME! I don’t know what to do. Please help me Crabby.

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Back to School Awesomeness

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I bought a carrot cake tonight in anticipatory celebration of my boys completing a successful first week of school. And what exactly constitutes a successful first week of school. Well thanks for asking…

1. They got there every day. 

2. They had clothes on. And as far as I know, even clean socks and underwear. I know! Crazy right?

3. They even ate something before school. And I’m pretty sure they were totally healthy pop-tarts because I bought the ones without the frosting. 

So my point is, we pretty much rocked it out this week. Congrats to all of the other families who were back to school super stars like us!